YSunday, December 24, 2006
when i felt that it was time to give you a chance, this is what you do to me. i cant believe that i was foolish enough to do all this.
i have lost all confidence. you love me? i think you better re-read the dictionary. love is too strong a word for you to bear. things can never be.
tHeSe ScArS wiLL nEvEr hEaL. bLoOd dRiPpEd At
YThursday, December 07, 2006
i was playing piano at 2230. so what? i was fine till this stupid korean neighbour who is freakingly short came over and said "i need to put my children to sleep. can you don't play the piano? can?" what you want me to do? say cannot ah? your children wants to sleep my business ah? they sleep at 2000 then i must stop playing at 2000 meh? i also hear music from your place at night when it's also very late loh. did you see me complain? if you want it to be super quiet, then why don't you just go to the north pole or some island that you create to live on? it will be 100% peaceful. if i must think for everyone then i might as well just die. just get a life will you. i grew up in an environment filled with noise. but never once did my parents have to go over to someone's place to ask them to be quiet. are you really that weak that you can't stand even a little noise? it was because i was playing scales. if i played a wonderful piece of song will you ask me to stop? if you don't want me to play scales, why don't you go and talk to the music board about it? it's not my fault that i am playing scales. it's a section of my exam. i will fail if i don't play. do you want to pay a few hundred bucks for me to retake? if you are then i won't play.
tHeSe ScArS wiLL nEvEr hEaL. bLoOd dRiPpEd At
YWednesday, December 06, 2006
i managed to call him after so long. but guess what? he has a girlfriend. great! i wish them all the best. he has moved on. i should too right? why can't i? when i heard he has a gf i was like all quiet and stuff.
someone heal this broken heart. it's really gone. i feel like an idiot. if i had told him earlier... wait. i think i did. this is so confusing. i feel like i'm trapped in my own world. what's the point of regretting? i want him to know. but even if he knew, i don't think it will make any difference. so what is the point? it seems like he really likes his gf. i think i will just keep this among myself and the people i know and this blog. i am tempted by the knife but i won't.
is all these for real? does his gf really mean they are together? does he really like her? i gave so many up hoping he will keep his promise. but now it seems like the saying is true. promises are meant to be broken. *tears fill my passage*
vanessa carlton's a thousand miles fits my mood.
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