YSaturday, January 13, 2007
it feels so weird... i think it's because of the rain... i don't know for sure though... it seems like i really miss you. sometimes i really hope you will call me and then i will be able to tell you what is actually going on. if only you are here beside me. i will be able to cope with anything. i need a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear and a person who cares. in the past you used to call every saturday and when i say i am at my grandma's place you would insist on coming down just to see me and then head for church. still remember i would use to ask you not to be crazy as all my family members are here. and you would just say 'i only want to see you. i miss you what.' you also used to ask me to just spare you one day a week and when i say no you would always ask me if i am really that busy. finally i know how you feel. even if it's one minute of your time, i am willing. just anything so that i can be beside you again... to hear the words i miss you... it seems like i lost myself. all i think of is regrets of not telling you how i felt earlier. all the times we had before. but now, there's this person who is the total opposite of you. he say things but yet not show it, says things but not do them, says things but not mean them. it kind of reminded me of you. sometimes i want to tell him so much that i don't need him to sweet talk but to show how he really feel and to touch my heart using his sincerity. am i really asking too much of a person? to just have time for me. i mean if he is really so busy that he can't even afford a good rest, why is it that he has the time to go clubbing? why can't he use the time for clubbing to rest? is clubbing really more important than everything else? maybe when i told him to give up, he really gave up on the spot. maybe that's the real reason why he can't be bothered with me but not because he is busy. but if he was really able to give up straight away, then he must really not be serious. to be able to forget someone who means alot to you instantly, how can one be serious about that person? haiz. i really give up. whatever he wants to do is no longer my problem already.
tHeSe ScArS wiLL nEvEr hEaL. bLoOd dRiPpEd At