YSunday, January 28, 2007
sighs. i have been so tired and quiet lately. quiet not as in not talking but as in keeping everything inside of me. wow. emotional burden loads.
realised just today that i need a lot and i mean A LOT of attention. need to change. but what's the point? i can't. because what attention do i have to start with when no one, other than nic who still talks to me, bothers about me anymore. well, at least this is how i feel.
charlie told me that if he gave me the feeling that he doesn't care, he don't mean it. what's the point? i want and need someone else's care. not exactly his. have been feeling quite emotionless lately. valentine is really coming. not that it affects me but alone? at least someone said something last year. but if i ever find something on valentine's, it definately will have nothing to do with him. bleah. xiao lan cong, your xiao zhu zhu will no longer be. so yar.
after going through so much in january, i guess i'll have to grow up and be different from febuary onwards. be a different me. it's difficult but i will do my best. i promise.
well, at least when i make a promise i do it. not like some people who make empty promises. if you can't do it, then don't promise.
tHeSe ScArS wiLL nEvEr hEaL. bLoOd dRiPpEd At