YMonday, February 05, 2007
lalala. happy birthday my dear. coming le right. too bad cant wish you personally. bleah. =P u ah... turning 20 le loh... so old le... better know what to do and what not to do ah... don't let history repeat itself. oops. i think i talked too much le. =x
i am super sad can. rah! i don't know what's with me. felt like i just wasted weeks of my life on some liar. argh! now i know why do i hate people instead of loving them. i really don't feel like talking to you anymore. i feel so hurt. so alone. you blew off the light from my candle and now i can't see anything. i am lost in darkness and back in the land of lonliness again. LoL. what's with the emo melodrama drama? haha. why should i be so emo right. is not like this is the first time. i am not going to like anyone anymore. is like the last time, the same thing happened. guys are like so cowardly. why avoid someone just because you are unable to handle your emotions? it seems like i lost all my support this time.
recently i have been staring into space and feeling so lost. i don't even know why i am doing all these. not going to work really brings my mind back to all these things. i don't like to be alone and spend meaningless days all by my own waiting for time to past. the scars are getting more obvious by the day. sometimes i wonder if can the scars ever be gone. everytime i look at them, i remember once that someone ever told me " if that is really the case i will just die. without you is really nothing. i will really slit. " at first i thought it was a joke but after fifteen minutes there was no respond. and i tried calling for at least 20 times. on the last try the person answered and said " don't worry. i won't die. a little slit won't kill me. this was the only way for me to hear you. at least i know you care. everything is worth it. " and he went all quiet. but thank God that the person didn't die. or i will be blaming myself now.
sometimes i really wonder if i need to end up in the hospital before you really care. everyone siad that i was foolish enough to like you. i don't know. maybe they are right maybe they are wrong. but after all that i felt and all that happened, i realised that i am foolish to fall for you. maybe this was all a lie right from the very beginning. maybe i was right right from the start. we are too different and that things can never be.
i realised that kisses at different places means different things. goodnight kisses are on foreheads, goodbyes are on cheeks, serious i love yous are on lips. LOL. wow. these things should not be said by me. should be said by someone who kissed. =x oops. bleah. HAHAHA! ROFL.
tHeSe ScArS wiLL nEvEr hEaL. bLoOd dRiPpEd At